After the sauna, I knew I had a temperature problem. They just kept on pouring water onto the hot coals and for the next week, I couldn’t regulate my own temperature. One minute I’d be inside wearing a wooly jumper and boiling next id be outside in a t-shirt freezing while the sun was out. It’s all men in towels really and porn and lager on tap with television. if you wanted to know. 😉 I had his phone number, though. All in all, it had been a successful visit.
Now I needed to cool down,
I try to make something of my past experiences make them pay in the present sort of thing. It’s not rocket science but…I think my mind is out of sync with my body and consciousness. if it were in sync I would know because there would be a fucking great big green light shining in front of my eyes but these days all I see is flashing amber and mostly red.
How can I function? I have to work. I have to socialize. I have family and extended family. Fucking hell I have mates. We do things like pull birds and I’m the entertainment sort of thing. I hate it. I love it. Perhaps If my mind was in sync I’d be the one pulling the birds and some other sad sack would be the stooge. It’s not difficult. All the self-help books say focus on the positive. accentuate the positive and all that bollocks. I think I am. I missed, therefore. But you get the gist mate don;t you. Get me a coffee.
I’m talking to myself again, not a good sign. maybe if I was in sync I wouldn’t be like this. I’d be more floating like rice plants in a sea of ambergris. The sound of whales singing. What did you say Gay? Oh please. give it up.
So do I call him ‘NO’ is the answer? I got his number but he got mine too if you know what I mean. I wouldn’t let him fuck me like he wanted to. it’s all fucking marmite to me. You either love me or you fucking hate me bitch. get that straight in the kisser baby.
And he fucking loved me. Asked me out. Don’t need to brag. The truth is made flesh blasphemy number one. He is my god. blasphemy number two. I sucked gods cock. blasphemy number three.!
I feel like I am in sync. Congrats, Hurrah!