Tag: humour

JR Ewwwwwwing And I have Drunk No Beer

Posted on by Andrew Mark Watkins

Wacky Ass
Wacky Ass
Worf Zen Buddha
Chinese Markets Chinese Markets

There was a day when the sun was shining
I sat down next to a tree
and the branch held a fruit
so I picked and ate it
(those were the days of the low hanging fruit)
picked and ate it

Wacky Ass
Wacky Ass
Worf Zen Buddha
Chinese Markets Chinese Markets

Blank verse, blank verse
and automatic writing
a shimmy here a shimmy there
and you have all that you require

Wacky Ass Wacky Ass
Worf Zen Buddha
Chinese Markets Chinese Markets

Should this require explaining
I have an explanation
only it’s written in Klingon

Wacky Ass, Wacky Ass
Worf Zen Buddha
Chinese Markets
Chinese Markets

(repeat until hoarse)

Paranoid

Posted on by Andrew Mark Watkins

Is the internet making us selfish? Like the high street of old are there places where the Weirdos went but where no respectable person would be seen?

Is it the internet’s fault? And wasn’t the internet supposed to be the place where you can go and be whoever you want?

I am a non-earner in terms of the internet economy. I may be kind and welcoming to new comers as that is one of my internet roles but when it comes to internet banking I want it working I don’t care about the colour scheme. Even the welcome you get from the banks is sincerely delivered. It’s all about what you can get away with -surely?

With this in mind, I hope to become a peddler of clicks and whirrs Whoops! I mean clicks and eyes as I have a blog which has no ulterior motive for people to get suspicious about other than it’s something I created that I would like to share perchance to raise an eyebrow or titillate a vein such is my innocence.

I am at home all day and all of the night which you would think gives me more time to write and draw but we are dealing with daresay voodoo economics when it comes to art and writing. A minute is well…a minute. But it can seem like an hour.

So get behind my new post by clicking follow or watch or favourite or Like in whatever language you are using. And remember …something profound. Or if you can’t invite around that really annoying relative you have and talk with them for three hours. That’ll put things in profound perspective!

Till next time. Ta ta.

Intergalactic Tomato Ride

Posted on by Andrew Mark Watkins

monsters

It’s like a map, he said sitting at the corner of the bed
knife in hand, blood dripping from veins
Mean while on the supergalactic tomato
Boneface makes an appearance to bow
‘Hello, I am boneface. Here is faceless and mok and tew and finally boredom who will know you by now’
Hello and welcome to my room.
Well one of them anyway. I live in a mansion y’know.
but only the sky can see in clearly
through a little hole in a roof nor
I love God all the same.
But this tomato has pips to shoot the intergalactic lane!
And mass and gravity said mok and tew, respectively.
So here I go. Remove cloaking device. Engage Afterburners.
Countdown to tomato stew.
5…
4…
3…
2…1
GOooooooooooooooooooooo!
Poem b y Andrew Watkins. Image by Andrew Watkins. Created in Paint.
© 2017 Andrew Watkins