Taking The Pith-Helmet

I was daydreaming and along came a book deal from a local publisher and a publicity photo shoot. Trying to come up with an image that might reflect the contents of the book lead me to think that no matter what I tried people would think I was taking the piss so what better ploy than to throw it back in their face by donning a white officers pith helmet circa 19th century British Colonialism, and swagger stick with me wearing my jeans and eating a Subway Meatball 12 ” Sub? Afterall, I am not one to harken back to those days.

Appeal anyone?

(30 minutes later)

OK, It didn’t turn out the way I expected but much better I think. Enjoy!


Image created in Paint.Net. © Andrew Watkins 2016

Images licensed through Creative Commons.


I am all out of lyrics.

Symbols must therefore, rule from now on or at least until I have got through the complete back catalogue of Janis Joplin lyrics and tunes and something like normality has resumed around here. Whatever that looks like! Answers on a postcard please! (or just comment below)

There are a couple of symbolic alphabets fonts I know of like Webdings, and others in my drawing software and others and on WordPress in the Ω Special Characters box on the formatting bar, there are 200 special characters to choose from. Just clock on the Pi symbol.

As I mentioned earlier, words are taking a backseat until I am replenished so I am bored for your symbols WordPress!

Here are some I chose. Factual accuracy guaranteed (kinda)

∏      Game of Thrones Croquets

≅       Ancient Hieroglyph for the sea

∑       Cherry picker in operation

¥       Electricity Pylons Closeby

°        Telescope recommended

∞       Drunken eight (8)

‰     Zero out of zero. Full marks! (for attending)

—     Hoverboard (BTTF II)

¤       Catapult target practice

±        Dodgy balance sheet

≡        Earth (film reference. Which film?)

—∈        International symbol of the fork


As you can see you can mix and match.

Have a go yourself and post comments saying  ‘Grow Up’ will NOT  be reported as SPAM.


Off the sea

I can hear the waves rushing in off the sea

I don’t know but to me this is poetry

Its like everyone is here from 1993

In the air is a poem carrying some psyence fiction

and in my throat a sound, like a moan but more guttural like a gorilla

Children of the age from Landon town in pink wearing a frown upside down

Marshmallows by the fire and suddenly its time! So soon. Back to my room.

And it’s the Seventies again tonite. Come on Eileen! Come on! We’re having fun.

David Bowie on a yacht asking me could it be so much fun. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Yes I can grab your gun we’re going for a run into town to see what’s going down

Hello, Titch, I’ve got a dog named Mitch back at home but here I’m all alone…

Alone in despair but I don’t care. I think I’m destined for better things.

What rhymes with this mote on my finger? Better things/ Golden Rings

Suddenly I’m ten again and the world seems to be very large. I play in a corner, alone.

Are you one of them? Or are you one of us? to which the only answer can be – I think I’m one of me.

Speedway on the track, no time for looking back into a grey haze on duvet days.

Another false dawn comes as no surprise to my eyes, my eyes, my eyes come as no surprise.

And blink and count back from ten. Then come looking for us.


Life is so Multi-dimensional.

Nothing rhymes with Multi-dimensional.

Ahhem. Cought!

There was once a brown bird

It lived in the sky

There was once an ant

It lived on the ground

There was once an Ipad

It lived in someones hands


Hellow! My name is Andrew…

I am a practising alcoholic

I practice as often as I can!!

Splutter!! Wheeeze!!

Thesaurus sitting on my desk

Me sitting in my chair

Lamp sitting over there

That’s a sitting demonstration!!

Fnar! Fnar!

Tape measure on my desk/loverboy

How long will i wait? A cm, An inch? How long will i wait?

Tape Measure: This long’ (extends itself to 45 cm)

That will teach me! Ha!

Push my buttons baby!

Said the keyboard!!! Snap!

Don’t push me around!

Said the mouse!

Left-click, Right click, Left-click, right! Shouted the sergeant major learning Word!

Up there, pointed the hedgehog, are the stars, the moon and the milky-way galaxy.

In my lunch box is a mars-bar replied the squirrel, but i dont go shouting about it.

‘The sublime’ is a new belgian chocolate bar by nestle rowntree cadbury

It aims to transcend the everyday, the mundane and the commonplace.

Don’t they all say that!