JR Ewwwwwwing And I have Drunk No Beer

Wacky Ass Wacky Ass Worf Zen Buddha Chinese Markets Chinese Markets There was a day when the sun was shining I sat down next to a tree and the branch held a fruit so I picked and ate it (those were the days of the low hanging fruit) picked and ate it Wacky Ass Wacky

Furries (Declaration of WAR)

The tawny hare, the snowy fox chased the guilty priest into the golden closet full of expensive wigs and bright red lipsticks where the russet lady and the casual dominatrix compared notes from a dripping notebook. Then, the furry friend ladled the smelly concoction over everything and you turn to him and said’This isn’t me,

Men In Towels

After the sauna, I knew I had a temperature problem. They just kept on pouring water onto the hot coals and for the next week, I couldn’t regulate my own temperature. One minute I’d be inside wearing a wooly jumper and boiling next id be outside in a t-shirt freezing while the sun was out. It’s

Mr Pianoface

There was once a clunky town. In that town lived Mr Brown. He lived in a clunky house had a clunky wife and two clunky children. He drank his tea from a clunky mug and when he looked into the mirror he saw a reflection of his clunky features. His eyes was uneven and clunky.

Cathartics

Not to be confused with Catholics On our TV we hear comedians gather in groups and say words about things that we think is nice for them to get a chance to air their lives in public. Cathartics. In the newspapers we hear stories about how a child survived cancer and worse and this is

Got It Bad

I hope that I will grow old. I hope that someone will love me. In that car park, there was none of that. The pistol on the seat of the car parked up down the road. The other characters like crows pestering a child. A nuisance. A pest. Something to be exterminated. I was vaguely

Granny Smith – A New Necklace Short Story

Stitch…stabbing. Car death. Violent Death. Gunshot wound. A stitch in time saves nine. Cross stitch mutilation and torture. Embroidery. Incest familicide. Damn its hot in here! Take off some clothes. When you are comfortable I will begin. Once upon a time, there was a grandmother who was tired of cross-stitch and embroidery. One day a

Going For A Sandwich

It was dinner time. I got in my car and drove around to Boots the Chemist where I purchased a dinner deal of Sandwich, Bag of Crisps and fizzy drink. On the way back home I realised the sandwich had not been satisfying and that it wasn’t any other day either. So I put on

One day while walking home in the rain

One day while walking home in the rain I stubbed my toe on a brick that was sticking out of the wall. I don’t know what made me do it, but I retraced my steps and did the whole thing again. Bang! bang! Bang! and it was the same every time. I liked the pain.

Later On

Blues music plays softly and we chillax in the gazebo Soft drinks are our game and we sip slowly on them playing with ice cubes over snatches of each others eyes. Later on, we lounge out our feet over each other and laugh at our command of rituals owned by us at our tender age. While