i got on the bus but that wasn’t my destination. I was heading out of town to the hunting grounds. I had my rifle and 50 rounds of .22 ammunition. I was going rabbit hunting.

It’s pretty good that you can still take live ammo onto public transport around here but that will probably change now after what happened.

Purple dots were appearing with alarming regularity on the skyline and I decided to take a pot shot at one. just to see what would happen. I didn’t want to start an intergalactic war you understand.

So then one of the purple dots flys closer and lands on the roof of the bus. We all gasped when it landed there with a clunk as its connected. I find what happened next disturbing.

An orange flame tinged with blue highlights cut a perfect circle in the roof of the bus and down floated on of them on the silver disc holding an oxy cutter and peering at us all from behind its glass helmet. Its eyes were so wide.

I did not expect what happened next. Never in a million years. Aliens Yes but this was sick.

Music floated down from the ship on the roof and we could all hear it like something from a rodeo machine gun wedding with big bass beats. Thump. Thump Thump.

Everybody was staring at it. It never blinked once but removed its lower garments revealing some tentacles that shot out and connected with everyone of the bus groins. Except me. It went for my gun and shot down the barrel as i was holding it in both hands.

Everyone began swaying is the best word for it and the music got louder and thump thump thump it continued. The alien took a cigar and lit it with the end of the acetylene torch and puffed away. Its stomach was clenching and unclenching in time with the music .

People began moaning as the aliens tentacles began pulsing like a hose in a cartoon and the bus stopped at the side of the road. I think the driver must have been connected to because he was just there in his seat folding his hands behind his head.

I couldn’t look or hear anything but the breathing and windows were all steamed up now and everyone was sort of jerking . The bass was massive by now and the whole bus was shaking and people’s hair was hanging in sweaty curls and then all the tentacles went rigid and the alien closed its eyes and everyone shouted their god’s name and fell to the floor in a heap. The alien took in its tentacles and replaced it’s under garments floated back up on its disc and then the purple blob flew off back towards the horizon.

That’s all I remember. I had my gun confiscated by the sheriff when we got to the hunting grounds as there were fifty holes in the roof of the bus that my parents would have to pay for.I don’t remember a thing about that.

The aliens were on the news again and tentacled the newsreaders while they were on air. It was funny.


Through the exterior SCI/FI xxPLANT LIFExxANTSxx



Jim called and I came. There was nothing more to the relationship. I emptied the vending machine and cleaned the openings and chutes and checked the levels of coffee, tea and chocolate. It was time to go on a Friday afternoon and I was full of chocolate powder. It’s surprisingly difficult to eat but very sweet.

Trying to get home was more difficult than usual due to the spikes. Like giant cactus spikes of plant life were now sticking up out of the roads and pathways , car parks and through buildings blocking my way home.

I was wearing a backpack but unfortunately, I had left my cosmic ray gun at home and all I had was a pair of scissors, a nail clipper and a bar of soap.

I kicked over one the smaller spikes to see what would happen and not much did except my foot skidded off my trainers sliding over the smooth hard surface without traction making my fall backwards onto my behind.

‘Ouch’ said a voice.

I turned my head to see the pigtails and happy smiling face of Sara who worked in the canteen. She also finished at 5.00pm. She was not her usual happy self.

‘Did you fall over did you?’ asked Sara playing with one of her blonde pigtails.

‘Its harder than a cactus, or maybe as hard’ I say ‘Probably some form of ancient plant life being stimulated into growth by the recent solar flare activity on Sol,’

‘It has ants,’ Said Sara. I noticed she was crying, for the first time.

I looked at the way she was standing and noticed that her left leg was spattered with blood and that her foot was missing.

‘Ants?’ I asked

There was the sound of a metallic clattering and suddenly the horizon was full of red ants their pincers and feelers waving in the air. A strange screeching filling my eardrums.

Then they were upon us and Sara was severed in two by a particularly large ants choppers. The ants ignored me and went climbing over the strange plant life and into the city centre. I noticed for the first time that there were no cars and no noise except for the sound of my breathing.Nothing. No birdsong, no aeroplanes in the sky nothing.

Why did they ignore me? Why?

As the plant life continued to grow I realised that now things were going to be very different and that my life was on hold, at least until I could see it was over. Whatever it was.

I stood up and shook myself free of the image of Sara being chopped in half by a 12 foot Giant Ant and thought to myself. I am going to need energy and suddenly i was hungry for more chocolate powder.


Red Dust From Mars

Upon the morn did Rita shine. Her head bobbing up and down. Groans were heard coming from the room. Then the words ‘faster’,’faster’,’FASTER’. Ginny walked into the room to see Rita on the exercise bike and Brian bashing  the controls of the deficient treadmill.

‘Hi Brian, Rita!’ said Ginny cheerily

‘This piece of shit won’t go anywhere…’ shouted Brian

‘Hello Ginny !’ Rita said, stopping cycling, her head coming to a standstill.

‘So tell, Whats Up,’ said Rita placing her hands on her knees.

‘Nothing much,’ said Ginny, playing with her hair.

‘Hows….whatshisname…Hero..isn’t it?’

‘Oh good thanks and he gave me something you have to see,’ said Ginny taking a red plastic container from her pocket. She twisted the lid off with her left hand and proffered it to Rita like a rare stamp with interesting pictorial features.

‘Whats that? Dirt?’ asked Rita

‘No. It’s Red Dust From… Mars’ said Ginny stressing the last word with emphasis.

‘Hmm’ said Rita reaching into her bag. ‘Guess what I’ve got here,’ said Rita

‘Dunno,’ said Ginny still holding out her hand

‘Hanky,’ said Rita blowing her nose loudly.

‘Ginny take no notice,’ said Brian.

‘Give it here,’ said Rita holding out her hand, still sitting on the exercise bike.


The red container filled with Red Dust From Mars was left on the windowsill of the exercise room. In the night sky, the distant constellations blinked and starlight shone down illuminating the windowsill and half the room. Starlight reflected off the digital readout of the treadmill where drops of human sweat had dried.

And the light shone  on the red box reflecting off its edges. Then the box rattled, and hummed, then the starlight passed.

And the red box just sat there.

Waiting for their return.

Dedicated to My Dad who suggested a sci-fi story might be on the cards…

Toadfish Deserted Me

I grew up under the Southern Hemisphere haze of Australian television soaps. Daphne and Des Paul and goings on at the ….watering hole (forgotten name) were normal pre-dinner fare for me until I moved in with my dad who had none of that stuff I recall. He had a television! But I spent all my time in an intravenous drip of Thrillers/horror/fantasy supplied by my bookworm dad. He was my hero and nothing like a bookworm jumper wearing sandal creeper that he actually was in the part creature.

So did Toadfish really desert me? Did we upon some beer laden antipodean lawyerly adventure get to the point where you couldn’t stand the sight of me so he decided to pack up and leave me at the cheap hotel we had been staying at and drive away leaving me to fend for myself? Well No. In fact, I deserted Toadfish and the whole sunny facades of Ramsey Street or Dufferville for shows like Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Stargate SG 1 Star Trek Deep Space Nine etc.

Ah, the Nineties were stuffed full of sugar candy yet quasi-intelligent fantasy/horror and, of course, sci-fi. I just watched it and masturbated, a lot. Enough for a convention or three!

Funny I had given up on ‘the book’ NOT the Bible but literature as found in a mass market paperback replete with sex scenes for television replete with very attractive male and female leads. But where did the story part go? Could it be that I was as satisfied with the stories portrayed on screen as I was with those portrayed in the books I read as a teenager? No. I think perhaps I had grown out of the solitary holding a book for three hours at a time kind of scene without moving and was becoming more (insert Russian transgressive transition here) accustomed to girls, life television and everything.

But Toadfish. Oh! Toadfish. Always with a beautiful girl, A spacious well-decorated home, words of wisdom or humour depending on the situation and big enough so that any old idiot wouldn’t mess with him. And smart. lawyer Smart. What I wouldn’t give for some of that!