Failure at Failure
Is there some force at work
That stops me being me
Failure at Failure
Is there some force at work
That stops me being me
Lollypop lady gives out lollipops to children of dinosaurs and
illegal immigrants. Rally here, rally here bring your cameras
and smart phones. Please do not SWEAR or smoke. (There are children about)
Moonlight optional, Hi- vis accepted, BBC outside broadcast.
blip.
It’s 5 am and the Ice Truckers are on the Ice road carrying oversized tyres. A pedipalp of emotions runs through your cerebrum. Tyres? Ice? Danger? DANGER? I’d rather Starbucks Hot Chocolate thank you. It’s seven am and there is a familiar certainty to the state of the world and the flow. of humanity. of different clothes wearing different bodies going separate places. Quietly and without a fuss. Like its all part of some divine plan. In an office, someone is cutting out paper people and putting them on top of buildings where somebody else will glue or staple them to till its time for another change.Them moments of recollection suppressed by newspapers offering you relief to buy happiness and tv to see after dinner. On a schedule just like you. Begonias. grass. Cans of pop. It’s little it’s a lot. Chocolate bars at dawn. Eating muffins for breakfast. Strawberry scones for lunch or elevenses. Or a trip out to cholesterol heaven and a full English in a roll gets you drooling. what happened to work? new suit and IT guy. Office culture in a bun. Hum. It’s boring. Learning. A way to payday. A vision of rising at ten or later and making a bacon sandwich dripping with grease. Fried eggs. Mushrooms. Sausages. Beans. It’s better than it seems. It always is. Until you’re dead.
It’s Monday again, great! I love Mondays so much. Its the day of the week where you really LIKE looking ahead to the week of work. I wish every day could be Monday.
It all means nothing if I can get this job.
The past erased and moved aside like
And I can stroll in every day like I own it.
And distant memories, accumulated wrappings of
names on labels packed lunches and ink blot and
blisters from broom handles burst
sending pus in my eyes in my hair.
Still the stare asking ‘are you there?’
or somewhere else suspended on hooks
maybe or gutted and skinned alive.
If I get this job nothing will change.
If I get this job doing it my way.
What will I do?
Bigshot flew.
And left Robin to fend while Thrush
wept and dreamt of his return.
Friends. People who are not your enemy.
People to do more than say hi to! To work with
side by side. Oh No! Queen bee is looking for me
I have eggs to fertilise! All she wants is my seed!
Oh away with you queen! Find yourself a new drone!
Go sit on your throne and buzz off!
I have work to do with my friends and colleauges
we have plans too and ideas and targets
And an audience to satisfy.
Little did I know then that art could
be a living, a way out of poverty or
that words joined up together in strings
did not require inclusion in some pre-ordained canon
for them to be heard or even to matter.
If I had I would have paid more attention
to the lessons.
What do you call it when everything you love
is laid out before you? I think its called
Heaven but don’t you have to die to get there?
Well I have died in company more than once
more times than i like to remember in fact.
Or os this just misplaced nirvana or cocunut
hair?What will I do when i get there?
Everything is humming and moving in time
People getting busy and moving in time
Watchers getting lossy and losing their stride
Peacocks are strutting and moving in time
Antlers are rutting and shoving aside
Children are walking having a time.
Clouds are gathering and glowering ahead
The workers are not getting out of bed
The ants on the ground cluster on a lollypop stick
And Am I the only one feeling sick?
Where does this happen today? Anyplace?
It’s just that it’s seared on my memory
like a chargrilled steak burned bits.
Am I talking to myself?
Am I not in good health?
Well enough to take a stage
and act something like my age
for the benefit of others that may hear
and act upon what I have to say
If and only if I get the chance.
At my interview today.