If I were paper then consumed in conflagration would be like love is to me. Black soot marked where I stood. And the flame that said my name again and again to set these wheels in motion? Just there swivelling at the hips playing with her chin wearing that lovable grin!

Gift-wrapped lotions set in motion by a train of joys from the beginning to the end calling in at blessed company and perfumed riches station where we would take on water and food for the journey ahead.

Ridges and valleys deep and wide nestle chocolate box houses where girls wave their hats at passers-by on the train, going to nowhere land where there is a hostile sea to wend in and out of on the way to our destination.

Nothing is too much trouble while in repose travelling through a becalmed country where lighthouses warn of danger and heather makes a comfortbale seat improvised in the heat of the midday sun.

Straw boaters munched by an animal in a barn. Sun cream emergency!. Cats got the cream as we eat ice coloured mess from bowls with cherries on it. We eat our fill.

But afternoon clouds carry a warning. Wear a jumper this evening! After dinner we can relax or socialise or take in a film.

Light a candle for those we left we entwine leaving the train, the journey, the perfumed riches, the food, the cat that got the cream, the day the weather and the sea behind. Goodnight.


I know you know

I know you know I know you know

You know I know you know I know you know.

Toothpaste squeezed out of a tube, that’s how I feel. When there is no more squeezing to do, when the tube is totally empty, That’s where I end up sometimes no matter what I do. Thrown into the sink of life in disgust. Sheer disgust.

A clever person, a stupid person and a smart person were trapped in a train carriage underground. The clever person calculated their chances of survival with an app on his smartphone. The Stupid person started talking to his fish paste sandwich and the smart person said’ I thought blubber was there to protect you from the cold. Bloody whales Oh I’m having a heart attack. Bye both of you. Urrcchk (death rattle)’

How do I cope with it? Well, use your common sense. If you are asleep then your not awake but dreaming. There is no off switch. There is food, a hobby, running if you can make yourself sex, plenty of ways to get your thrills. In moderation. You can build a life, make a life through no effort of your own in the first instance. l was raised with certain values, where’s the harm in falling back on those even if they do not reflect your own views in a time of dire need? Heck, most of the time.

Meanwhile, the fire has spread to the adjoining carriage. Stupid man carries on talking to his fish paste sandwich and clever man keeps on calculating with GPS location services on his smartphone.

Lean on your family, friends, bank manager or church. Work hard. Work smart (you will know if you are doing it) and remember that you’re probably not in the circus, so don’t let people boss you around.

A spark the size of a small hen races along the electrified track coming up the back of the train where the three of you are. Suddenly without warning the spark flies right into the handset of the clever man holding the smartphone calculating now If a human can survive 20,000 volts. Judging by the melted eyeballs and burning hair, I would say no.

Just jump right in if you feel it’s the right moment. Don’t worry if you fall on your ass, that’s what having friends are for. Let them take the heat for you, let them explain to your crying girlfriend, your estranged family and your angered god just how you are totally crass as an ACT designed with IRONY that sends up the OVER PRIVILEGED and is in fact SATIRE. And the fact that you are in fact HURT by their IGNORANCE of the REAL YOU. Send a thank you card with a quick note about how you are grateful for the opportunity to right past wrongs and pray for forgiveness from your GOD.

Stupid man was found still in apparent conversation with his wilting fish sandwich and was unaware that by giving his eye contact to the fish sandwich he saved him from smoke blindness! Also unknown to him was that by talking constantly to his sandwich he was distracted from thirty degree burns he received. Stew Peed, who lived with his mother, went on to make a full recovery in New Maldon Hospital and has since guess what? Won the bleedin’ lottery!!!!!!!

Life’s a bag of marbles. Yours until someone nicks it.