We Like Rubbish

We like rubbish at the front of our house because we thinks its neat

for everyone walking by to walk in a soiled street.

We like rubbish out the front of our house because you are a fool

For putting rubbish into bins like they are sins. Yeeeeehhhaaahha you tool!

We like rubbish out the front of our house because we got no self-esteem

We like rubbish out the front of our house because we feel like rubbish on the streets

It’s art You fools And I won’t have to pay a fine because its on private property!

Now get with the program and get littering! (GROAN)

We like litter at the front of our house because we are lazy, going cr4zy, in the handsome city, where everything is pretty and everyone eats in restaurants but all I have is this begging bowl! (OH)

We Um like rubbish Um because the Um proletariat are socially um stratified, um. right?

We’re not lazy, were not dirty, we understand why your getting all shirty

because we got it, we like living in shit, so get down with us you fools.(HAHAHAHAHAHA!)

Who’s to blame we’re all the same WE ALL HAD PARENTS!




In My Room

OI’m lonely in my room

listening to the gloom

It’s all so interesting

to me


OI’m going into town

to see what’s going down

In the store and on the street

Someone to see


OI’m not meeting anyone

this way seems so lame

Everyone seems so tame

In town.


OI’m not hungry for your

Thai but I’d share a coke

Bet your wonderin’ why

I’m single.


OI’m not in work anymore

I’m on long terms sick

On accounts of my head

not tick


OI’m not from round here

either. Come in closer

let me show you a map

of my home.


OI’m a steady sort of guy

I like DVD’s and Music too

Like Nerf Herder and



OI’m doing nothing now

Do you want to come home

with me and chill



That’d be cool

What Is This Life?

Odds and Evens and Vermin,

Aldi is not the only fruit,

Here on this street.


While we hang around

and whisper ‘please’

It’s a load of old rope.

for them on the dope.

You barely even know.

‘Skewers’ you call him

As he makes a ratface at you saying



‘Take in the chainmail stuff,

This is Britain bruv’

wiping his dirty hands on his sleeves

. ‘What will I wear then I wonder?

For Arthurs Roundtable assembling over yonder?’


Esconsed safely in your rooms you promise.

He should have picked on someone smaller’

and with rolling pin at the ready an’ all in a lather you muster

You don’t come around here telling the ducks which way to quaack and all that

young fella theres more to this life than being a yeller !

I could go on but it would spoil all the fun of finding

out what life is like on this street. And We’ve barely even started.

I’ll let you know how things go.

So we say goodnight.

And wish you all happy dreams.


Good old Terry Wogan. We miss ya!

I thought id write this for TW from about half way through. I began to hear his voice talking the words as i wrote and rewrote. So this ones for Sir Terry.