Chapter One Of Unknown Fantasy Novel

Writing for kicks.The wind was blowing leaves down the road and I was walking in the same direction with less hurry about my shuffling gait. I saw her coming out of the Tesco Express with a pushchair. I ran up to greet her but in those twenty feet something happened. She grew taller and her mouth became a bear’s mouth. And her red jacket was torn as her hairy arms extended down towards the buggy. She looked at me approaching with cold black eyes and I was not a little reminded of the eyes of a shark. Bear or shark she was only five feet away from me approaching at speed when it happened.  Lava began spewing out of ground red and very very hot. My shoes were melting beneath me. The paving slab began to slope and I looked at her. She was hovering some fifteen feet above ground the rotocopter holding her while she in turn held the push buggy. As I fell to my knees on the paving slab now almost tilted to 45 degrees slowly sliding into the lava a giant Eagle came down and plucked me from the paving slab at the last second. We both hovered there the girl and the rotocopter and me and the eagle.

‘Hi!’ said I trying to wave but being restricted by the eagle clamping me at the shoulder with its giant claws.

‘That was close,’ said the girl waving at someone in the rotocopter.

‘Yeah, close!’ I said laughing I looked at the Eagle but he was not laughing – His beak the paragon of all seriousness.

‘So what now?’ asked the girl?

‘Well I don’t know,’, ‘I was thinking, well, like you know you might want to come back to mine. Bring the baby if you like,’ I added in what I thought was a generous manner. I glanced at the Eagle who I could swear was grinning to himself.

‘Sorry no can do. I got to get Chiral ready for dinner and Karate. Maybe next time though. Here take my number,’ she said holding out a piece of paper. It was too far for me to reach and it fell down. The Eagle spotted this and suddenly we were flying down towards the boiling lava where he grabbed the piece of paper in his beak before it was consumed by flame.

‘Cheers Eagle!’ I said, thumbs up to the girl. ‘Thanks,’ I shouted above the groaning lava below.

‘See ya!’ said the girl who was now back to fully human form.

‘OK I’ll call you’ Thanks!’ I said. The rotocopter was heading up over the hill where hopefully there was no lava. I looked up at the eagle who just seemed preoccupied by flying I was scared to interrupt him lest he drop me. I remembered the girl and the piece of paper in his beak and spluttered the word ‘home’ as loud as I could muster. The Eagle gaze seemed to briefly meet my eye and then we turned southwards towards Home. I recalled was where I was with the girl when we played that excellent game Exodus and Endgame on PC.  She had won that one but now I had her number.

‘Home Eagle, Home’ I shouted ‘homeward bound!’

We soared above the trees and the conflagration faded into the distance as we neared Steady Farm where I am my parents lived. It was untouched by the flames. Great! I had been victorious.

Back To Normal

Whatever the fuck counts as normal. Crap music on the stereo. I am surrounded by YA authors. It is a truism that there is no shortage of talent in the world. But paradoxically there is also good will and a willingness to learn and to share. I’m sure that this breaks a law of economics somewhere along the line. The one to do with scarcity. But Its, not the monetary cost that seems to be my problem. It’s writing the damn novel. I have been toying with the idea of collecting some on my hundreds or so writings and compiling a Kindle Book or taking them to agents or publishers? I have done all that the guides say and have a copy of the Artists And Writers Yearbook. See? I do pay attention. But I really just keep making excuses not to do it. or Manyana. Tomorrow. I’ll do it Manyana.

I have to get to the doctors about my medication soon. Before Christmas or else I will run out of tablets. This is not writing related so you can tune out if you like. blah blah blah weight gain microwave meals blah nutrition yes blah diet blood pressure blah blood test blah hypertension blah blah calories blah five a day blah 4 units of alcohol blah biscuits blah church walk, blah activities blah exercise machine blah. scales blah side effects blah….

Back! And refreshed. My writing has taken an upwards velocity recently with more and more likes coming my way in appreciation. Kudos to me. I am still pretty prolific, but soon I will overheat and need a barrel changing out. I can feel it. Paris beckons. Nice beckons, Bed beckons. Bills need paying blah water bill blah two hundred quid blah good order blah, microwave meals, blah, blah, washing up blah not done, blah, beer bored, blah, spirits bored sell out blah blah

Back! Typing with feet up. blah, like a wandering star blah bored blah in pyjamas blah need to change boxers blah blah.disgusting blah carpet needs hoovering blah room needs dusting blah, scabs in my nose blah..freezing cold blah freezing cold blah blah blah.

I wish depressing was funny blah tragic is comic blah, so like me buy me eat me blah

reaching the bottom of the barrel blah suicide is painless blah never worth it blah blah dance music blah grunge blah suits me blah. CHRISTMAS blah. family blah. torture blah, not alone. blah unreal blah rather play computer games blah. Unreal Tournament blah blah blah.

Happy Blah to you all good people.