Bliss

Bliss.Call advertising agency. Maybe negotiate with me. Bad call. Maybe.

Bad left. Naomi. Water cone. Hot chocolate. Bagel. Strawberries and cream.

Bad left. Call her. Naomi said. Suggested. OK left. Now!

Lisa. Residential addresses begin before Rupert begin. Bent knees. Begin hello! Arigato! photocopier. coffee. Normal. Mr Watkins. You can go upstairs. Is that your whale?

Come lets see! interesting. Hokusai. Momo. OK, we want it. Awesome. Apple. orange and grapefruit. Sold. Mr Brightside. Abdul in accounts. Reed. Today. Articles of memorandum. Today. I made it! Leave it outside. Get the bus home. Everton 1 Liverpool Nil.

Lisa. Read. Articles of Memorandum. And association. Phil. Articles of Memorandum. Bill. Bus. Bes. Articles. Pray.

END

From There to Here To Nowhere

Nice title Andrew!

Suddenly the music in my mind has changed and it’s down to Carissa liking my last post ♥. I was wondering earlier if love was what making me so sick of spirit. The beginnings of true love perhaps or something like that but I settled on my backwards tracking to when I asked God for His forgiveness of my sins last week. Seconds after I asked I was left with a doubt in my head. It went something like this: If you exist, then give me a sign (to say you heard my prayer) I brushed it off and thought something like denial would save me. (Huh?)

Seven days time during which time lots has happened that happens to fall somewhere over the thin line between good and bad, right and wrong, nice and horrible where your mood could be the deciding factor not the facts or opinions, evidence or intentions and I find myself here secretly glad I feel lifted up again (I do) and have something to write about again with alacrity.

So to Nowhere! Well if there’s no heaven then when I die I go nowhere, Right?

But if there is a heaven then everything will be OK? I get to meet all my dead relatives and we all get to drink Margheritas, Whoo! Eternal life! or was that only for Jesus! (Get my ignorance!)

But what if it’s all bollocks?

Or a monumental fuck up?

(In the Sky)

It’s better than hell, bound to be, but Hell could be fun, torture but fun.

Like its that simple, like you get to choose.

Like I did.

I never knew god was real. In fact, all the evidence I gathered pointed towards a non-existent entity of nothingness that lived nowhere in particular because it was nothing and, therefore, didn’t live anyway. But I sucked by the question? How does God live? Can something like God be alive like me? or an animal or a plant or a spaceship clone war model? Reading theology lead me to different conclusions. But it would say that. Wouldn’t it?

But I questioned God like something real so even if i contradict myself and say there is no god because there is no proof of god , YET I BELIEVE. I could be saved. Or dammed!

I also asked God for some help, also about a week ago. It’s hardly a sin. You should try it sometime!

Preach over.

Thanks for listening. Andrew

 

Surround Yourself With Love

If you love something ‘set it free’ is how the saying goes. If you love something a lot though you are likely to do the exact opposite and hoard it around you like flies around you know what or wasps on ice creams on a sunny day. But this means nothing, I hear you say, nothing, like Manuel, says in Fawlty Towers just before he gets a clip around the ear from the Erstwhile Basil Fawlty. But I digress. It is nothing that I want to talk about. If you understand nod once for yes two for no. Nothing. It’s everywhere! An In Here (thumps chest with a clenched fist), An In here (knocks knuckles on side of head) and In your soul itself. You know what I mean. It’s that feeling or thought of nothing zilch, big fat zero you get when sometimes seeing or hearing something (or experiencing something – but more about that later). It is represented in all the major disciplines of the professions in the western world by the English Language words zero, nowt, zilch, sweet FA, not a dicky bird, zip, nada, diddly-squat. In numbers and science by Zero, nought, nil, 0. But again I digress.

Likely you are reading this feeling something already e.g. amused or bored, happy or sad etc so nothing is not on the agenda for you. For some reason, I am thinking of doctors waiting rooms right now but don’t know why really.

Radio head have this lyric 15 steps then a sheer drop…into nothing maybe, nothing, no ground so you keep on falling and falling and falling. That would make you feel nothing.

It’s this feeling that slips into our daily routines and goings and to-ings and fro-ings though that I want to talk about. Imagine you have just had a new fridge freezer or washing machine delivered and fitted. You are pleased and can’t wait to try it out! You turn it on and nothing, no beep, no lights come on only the dull sound of nothing. And you soon realise that it’s broken and you have to send it back DOA. Nothing doing.

Another kind of nothing is the sweet nothing. Birds and sweet cherry pie whispered over fruits of the summer while you hum a tune.

But I digress. This nothing is proving hard to pin down. Harder then when I began writing and realising that in fact writing about nothing is harder than I thought because nothing is everywhere, all of the time. It’s like street corners, famous buildings and summer on the beach, a constant. Philosophers and mathematicians talk about constants but I don’t really for sure anyway know if we are talking about the same thing. Is my idea of constant the same as theirs well obviously not I am no philosopher or mathematician just a keen observer of the world. If I were to venture something here it would be that my idea of a constant is one that is always there in my mind like a memory or there in the world like a painting or piece of architecture or natural history so that if I had to assign a number to it would be a one, not a zero.

Anyway. nothing. Most of the time we do nothing much physically unless we run a lot or join a gym. this is not a bad thing regardless of what you may read. Doing nothing is good for you. It can free your mind from the rigours of your job or your relationships or your problems. Nothing to an exhausted mind is like a beach on a dessert island – paradise. But this you already know and you also might be thinking that nothing is quite boring. This is far from the truth.

Nothing was around before something – argue this with a physicist or philosopher or mathematician, if you succeed let me know who won the argument and how.

Nothing is the opposite of something – argue this with me. I thought I’d introduce some structure with a little sentence statement that can be proved either true or false – or even something in between. But again I digress.

I am getting tired now and nothing more (nothing!) is pressing so I might stop here for today anyway until later. Until then …nothing HA HA HA Ha!