Pep Talk From God

Life is a Journey( a twisting, wandering path)
that will take you new places (and destinations)
Be careful when you cross the road
(when crossing the road)
and do not step on snails. (Do not step on snails)
And when the road takes a sharp turn (See Impossible Bend)
Be like Buddha (the round one) and do not get stressed! (!!)
Turn with the road (turn with the road)
and onward to prosperity (onward to prosperity)

I did not write this (except for the bits in brackets)

Believe me or not!

Invisible Shores

Fish Snapper.pngWhere fishermen cast their nets in the hope of rich reward

is a place not too far from our own shore called invisible shore.

God denotes to the trained eye a change in depth or of saline density.

But to our own, it’s difficult to tell that anything has changed at all.

Currents swirling and the swell rolling and the waves lapping at the sides of the boat tell little.

Well, we could be anywhere in Gods own sea twenty or so miles from land. But then a knock at the place where

there should only be sea water green deep and dark. At the bottom of the boat. Knock. Knock.

The Skipper smiles while telling the crew to keep their eyes open wide and then it happens.

We are lifted clear of the water by 20 or thirty feet and where there was sea below us in now rock sand and gravel and we are perched atop some previously underwater rock. This new land spreads out for perhaps two hundred meters around us

And all about us are shoals of landed fish. The sun shines brightly against the barnacles on the rocks glistening and sparkling. A fish flips over. A paradise just waiting to be found.

Image courtesy Andrew Watkins ©2016

Opera Poet God Bitch

Ohh Ariiaaaaaaaaaa. Diphthong graces gathered around golden tresses

Trailing red satin dresses all the way back from where you own.

Ohhhhhhhhh! It’s pleasing that your still breathing puppets Ohhhhhh! Isn’t it nice?

I haven’t got that doll. I haven’t got that doll. Please let me take it home!

I haven’t got any friends. I drove them all around the bend. Now I sing my opera to keep me clean.

of the flies and the rats that coincide, whenever I go outside. They coincide with  my company and do it ever so gracefully. They pray to me Their Opera Poet God Bitch.

And I bestow on them harmony not found in nature. cause I am their nature. I am their control.

Opera Poet God Bitch come to me every night every night

With your timing, with your smile and what have you, I want mine.


Do you hear my song. Fuck you I won’t Do what you tell me? Well, the pronunciation is correct.

Diphthong graces around your golden tresses and red satin dresses. I am all done with messes. I want my  order. Order in my court. Let’s begin again.

Oooh! Is that Ice cream? Do you want one? Do you? Would it make you complete? (Do you want to compete?)

Now I want to go home? Back to the place with the dome. St Pauls Cathedral. Home. Home. Home. Then to La Scala where someone will put guitar to my solo. Ohhhhhhhhhh!

Make it gritty, make it mean. Like a washing machine.

I am clean, green, mean, Like Dyson if they made Washing machines instead of Fans. Who needs those? When You have got my clothes.

Diphthong graces and red satin dresses all surrounded by golden tresses of the finest hair. Mine forever to keep while I weep in sorrow for what might have been.




Ariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! (a wine glass shatters)


Right Again, Always

Oh! this love is strange, beguiling, insane. I was right again. Right on time. Right! This time and every other too. Hang on your not God. I know. But I am always right. I can’t help it like a disease sticks clothes to you with sweat. In the end, I will always be right. Yeah sure You are a millionaire! No, not really Although I live without a care, high in the air, like a sea-bird drifting on currents of air. I am always right in the end. Are you Death? Taxes? A bookman lest a problem, a cat without a hat, a dog with a bone getting annoyed? Or a surgeon on holiday in the sun? A priest without a church praying for his redemption or a child without a toy knowing its OK to cry for himself and for everyone? Are you insane? nobody is right in the end. We all make mistakes. Yes, I know all that thank you but I am insane enough to know that wishes do come true if you make them. So I am always right!


The Wind

Let The Wind flay the dry skin from my face

Let the earth move me supine into rest

Let the stars move me heavenly into creativity

Let the moon dictate diurnally when I work and when I sleep.

Let my friends and family concern themselves over me

And let god take care of all that is heavenly.

Let the teachers teach the young in ABC and 123

And the trees that grow into forms will artists grow

inside as they grow older and wiser in the world.

And finally let all those who not believe below see

enough to convince them it’s worth trying.

From There to Here To Nowhere

Nice title Andrew!

Suddenly the music in my mind has changed and it’s down to Carissa liking my last post ♥. I was wondering earlier if love was what making me so sick of spirit. The beginnings of true love perhaps or something like that but I settled on my backwards tracking to when I asked God for His forgiveness of my sins last week. Seconds after I asked I was left with a doubt in my head. It went something like this: If you exist, then give me a sign (to say you heard my prayer) I brushed it off and thought something like denial would save me. (Huh?)

Seven days time during which time lots has happened that happens to fall somewhere over the thin line between good and bad, right and wrong, nice and horrible where your mood could be the deciding factor not the facts or opinions, evidence or intentions and I find myself here secretly glad I feel lifted up again (I do) and have something to write about again with alacrity.

So to Nowhere! Well if there’s no heaven then when I die I go nowhere, Right?

But if there is a heaven then everything will be OK? I get to meet all my dead relatives and we all get to drink Margheritas, Whoo! Eternal life! or was that only for Jesus! (Get my ignorance!)

But what if it’s all bollocks?

Or a monumental fuck up?

(In the Sky)

It’s better than hell, bound to be, but Hell could be fun, torture but fun.

Like its that simple, like you get to choose.

Like I did.

I never knew god was real. In fact, all the evidence I gathered pointed towards a non-existent entity of nothingness that lived nowhere in particular because it was nothing and, therefore, didn’t live anyway. But I sucked by the question? How does God live? Can something like God be alive like me? or an animal or a plant or a spaceship clone war model? Reading theology lead me to different conclusions. But it would say that. Wouldn’t it?

But I questioned God like something real so even if i contradict myself and say there is no god because there is no proof of god , YET I BELIEVE. I could be saved. Or dammed!

I also asked God for some help, also about a week ago. It’s hardly a sin. You should try it sometime!

Preach over.

Thanks for listening. Andrew



I know you know

I know you know I know you know

You know I know you know I know you know.

Toothpaste squeezed out of a tube, that’s how I feel. When there is no more squeezing to do, when the tube is totally empty, That’s where I end up sometimes no matter what I do. Thrown into the sink of life in disgust. Sheer disgust.

A clever person, a stupid person and a smart person were trapped in a train carriage underground. The clever person calculated their chances of survival with an app on his smartphone. The Stupid person started talking to his fish paste sandwich and the smart person said’ I thought blubber was there to protect you from the cold. Bloody whales Oh I’m having a heart attack. Bye both of you. Urrcchk (death rattle)’

How do I cope with it? Well, use your common sense. If you are asleep then your not awake but dreaming. There is no off switch. There is food, a hobby, running if you can make yourself sex, plenty of ways to get your thrills. In moderation. You can build a life, make a life through no effort of your own in the first instance. l was raised with certain values, where’s the harm in falling back on those even if they do not reflect your own views in a time of dire need? Heck, most of the time.

Meanwhile, the fire has spread to the adjoining carriage. Stupid man carries on talking to his fish paste sandwich and clever man keeps on calculating with GPS location services on his smartphone.

Lean on your family, friends, bank manager or church. Work hard. Work smart (you will know if you are doing it) and remember that you’re probably not in the circus, so don’t let people boss you around.

A spark the size of a small hen races along the electrified track coming up the back of the train where the three of you are. Suddenly without warning the spark flies right into the handset of the clever man holding the smartphone calculating now If a human can survive 20,000 volts. Judging by the melted eyeballs and burning hair, I would say no.

Just jump right in if you feel it’s the right moment. Don’t worry if you fall on your ass, that’s what having friends are for. Let them take the heat for you, let them explain to your crying girlfriend, your estranged family and your angered god just how you are totally crass as an ACT designed with IRONY that sends up the OVER PRIVILEGED and is in fact SATIRE. And the fact that you are in fact HURT by their IGNORANCE of the REAL YOU. Send a thank you card with a quick note about how you are grateful for the opportunity to right past wrongs and pray for forgiveness from your GOD.

Stupid man was found still in apparent conversation with his wilting fish sandwich and was unaware that by giving his eye contact to the fish sandwich he saved him from smoke blindness! Also unknown to him was that by talking constantly to his sandwich he was distracted from thirty degree burns he received. Stew Peed, who lived with his mother, went on to make a full recovery in New Maldon Hospital and has since guess what? Won the bleedin’ lottery!!!!!!!

Life’s a bag of marbles. Yours until someone nicks it.



Custard Pie Love

Hasn’t life got a lot to do with love? For example, you can be happily strolling along the unkempt path of righteousness when suddenly someone throws a custard pie in your face and reminds you in no uncertain terms that a sense of humour is an essential life skill.

The same can be said of love. It’s an essential skill to master or to at least tame. One look and you’re gone. One touch and I’m yours. Together we are rock. Now where did they come from?

It wasn’t written. It wasn’t foreseen. And no illegal drugs or a lot of alcohol was involved. I think (dare I?) that life is just full of people and people are sometimes the most unexpected of beasts/creatures.

But un-expect what? A custard pie in the face?. Red Roses, a dozen, phone calls in the middle of the night or long drives to meet on a moonlit windy moor. texts, emails, selfies. Monologues, dialogue, music, work, food, illness, sport. This list is growing to encompass all of human activity (including war and famine). You can’t escape ‘this thing called love’ that Freddie Mercury sang about. I have a theory about love.

We do not love because we are lovers. We are lovers because we love.

It’s just a pity some seem to get more of it than others.

Because it is sent from above.

If you are ever feeling down and wearing a long frown

Take joy from the fact that you are a sauce, not soy and enjoy your dressing down from all quarters before you fall in love and wear the crown. Lover ahoy!


Which might lead me to argue that love is unfair? It’s true. love is unfair.

‘You can’t hurry love’ you can’t unless you happen to be a god. No persuasive male or female can even nudge along love that little bit faster it won’t budge, love.

‘Love bites, love bleeds it bring me to my knees’ Love hurts you unexpectedly in the tender spots love comes like a knife never stopping short of a ten thousand cuts.

Love is gentle and pure and shared over cheesy fries and coke and happy with walks down the town, shopping and sex.

Love is pure, sure of itself and ebullient warm and giving. Be cautious you might get more than you are giving!

Love binds you together with your significant other not only in daylight but then on the other side where light does not shine and many bridges exist only in your lovers mind.

Keep Buggin. Keep loving.

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