Happy Thursday



How much of a poet are you?

so?   I am going insane. The need to be poetic is ruling me. Pedants note I speak in syllables 1,2,3. I think it’s an escape. Haiku, Espresso, Allegory I’ll have three. That is the poet in me. Dee dee dee. Fucking smug motherfockas talking on the radio but thats all there is to listen to. I’ts no wonder I sound like a drunk DJ – Thats what I am. Playing for myself. Allegory. He carried a heavy load down a long road. it weighed heavily on his shoulders. He also carried a burden there. What? WHAT? Burden? A donkey on his shoulder is better than a monkey! So there. Pull your socks up and enjoy. Sasparilla. Sounds macho like Hello John Wayne Is This Me Am I You or some such bullshit. Spit into your sink instead of a spitoon and whistel dixie or at the postman. Muhammed Ali! What a tramp! Isn’t drunk great?

Choose Life

Choose life…choose sofas, choose bleeping microwave ovens, choose doilies and straw-men. Choose Radio 2, whiskey and spiced rum drink. Choose writing, art and creativity. Choose architecture with a capital A, Choose McDonald’s, Choose Subway, Choose Marks and Spencers. Choose Dell Computers. Choose a gingerbread man, Choose a tablet and smartphone. Choose Big Screen Greek Weddings, Choose Russel Brand and Great British Bake Off. Choose Sara Cox, Choose Jo Wiley Choose Blues Club Choose Daysaver Choose cheese and tomato. Choose Greggs Choose Donuts, Choose Chocolate fucking brownies. Choose Freeview, choose neighbours, Choose Trainspotting, Choose Star Wars, Choose Justice League Choose Batman and the Flash, Choose Anime and Manga, Llamas and Pokemon, Choose Cool stuff, Choose consumer heaven, Choose daytime television, Choose? choose tooth whitening. Choose a house, a mortgage, a widescreen and curved television and Infiniti Cars. Choose a jet washer and a wife. Choose a box made for two, choose a chemical-free existence, Choose a boat ride, Choose three friends, choose hitchhiking, illegal raves and apple scrumping. Choose Schizophrenia. Choose asylums. Choose Paris in Winter. Choose Milan, Choose New York. Choose banana and chocolate Choose baked potatoes and Chet Baker. Choose Jeremy Vine, Choose Eggheads, Choose Mastermind. Choose Tipping Point, The Chase, Choose Woman’s Weekly. Choose Vogue photographs and Choose a Gold Fucking Credit Card. Choose Radio 4 and John Humphries. Choose Woman’s Hour and The Archers. Choose I Haven’t Got A Clue. Choose XXL, Choose 18 and Over, Choose malady. Choose dishcloths, Choose Mr Muscle, Choose Detoll, Choose Ready To Wear, Choose nurseries, Choose plums and Choose An Apple Tree For The Garden. Choose Left, choose anarchy, choose antidisestablishmentarianism, Choose Boris Johnson, Teresa May, Choose a cabinet of weaklings, Choose Brexit. Choose Ink by Post, Choose Franking, Jiffy bags and homemade cards, Choose Whats App, Choose Android, Lollipop Girl and The Play Store. Choose Itunes, Choose MyPhone, Choose carefully. Choose flute music, Choose Spotify, Choose to listen to the radio. Choose Open University, Adult Education And Distance Learning. Choose Cassettes and Vinyl. Choose tats and white skin. Choose hair Choose piercings, Choose Children and ice cream.  Choose Jim, Choose dope, Just the once, choose gigs, choose cigarettes and lighters. Choose Glastonbury and doctors, Choose LG Arena. Choose acoustically, Choose cheese suppers and aubergine. Choose a wine and petit dejeuner. Choose Switzerland. Choose Audi, Choose Olive Oil, Choose Dentistix, Choose Bonio. Choose Pentangle. Choose to slack, choose to carjack, choose fountain pens and business. Choose to the bank for a career, Choose to drown in beer, choose jackass to choose America, Choose Canada, Belize and Cyprus. Choose Northern Ireland, Choose Sinn Fein, Choose Protestant, Choose catholic, Choose a line in the sand, choose walking on coals, Choose a fakir, Choose forgery, Choose witchcraft and blasphemy, Choose a council flat Choose a cap, choose a hat, Choose a beanbag, choose relaxing, Choose hedonism with free parking, Choose Restraint, Choose a Strait-Jacket, Choose a home, Choose a life. Choose rain, choose Hail Ceasar, Choose grassroots, Choose a union, choose a future with or without a wife. Choose depression, repression and concessions. Choose box sets, Netflix and Amazon fucking Prime. Choose Jacomo Choose Guantanamo. Choose chocolate cake, or lemon drizzle, choose Maderia or swiss roll, choose spring roll and vegetable curry, choose spare ribs and barbecue sauce, choose Dim Sum Starters. Choose your DAW.

to be continued…


Once there was a man

and that man had a plan

to write the best poetry

in the land.

So off he went in search

of inspiration.

He went to a field and spied a dandelion. Right down did he put his nose and sniff did he. And up his nose flew a bumble bee.

He went to the biggest museum in the land and while he was there he cut his hand.

Then in a helicopter, he flew right up into the sky where he dropped his wallet right out of the door and lost it.

Then one day on the bus on the way home he met an old flame and they talked about the past and had a laugh and this put something into his mind.

No matter what life throws at us thought he and he remembered the bee that flew up his nose, he remembered the wallet lost and the cut on his hand and then he remembered the girl, her beauty inside and out. And he figured that life is a bit like a bitter sweet symphony and he sat down and wrote this song.

Her name was Delilah, she was  stunner

Every fellah wanted her on him

But then she fell for me one day out of the blue

Life isn’t a story 

it’s like flu

Achoo – She appeared out of the gloom

Achoo – Then she was in my room

Achoo-  Then it was time to say goodbye

I didn’t have time to ask her why?

Oh the things we see around us

compare and compel us, twisting and shouting

snorting and rooting

towards the centre.

He fiddled with his tie as he weighed up the merits of the little poem song he had written. THen he sighed screwed it into a ball and said ‘Well at least I tried,’

‘Poetic wisdom…’ came a voice from the laptop speakers

So he sat down and watched BBC3