Asperging: The British Problem, a polemic by Andrew Watkins. Starting with the baptism we are welcomed into this world anew afresh with bright ideas
we stride out; but wait! What about the poor souls we meet along the way? Surely, they should be made to feel something good. Intransigent? No, welcome!
Asperging is the pagan tradition of cleansing, and that tradition is right at the heart of British culture. Today in the twenty first century (March 30 to be exact) The act of cleansing is rife amongst all classes, all ages, all races. So what? I hear you ask. Settle for a moment on a leaf like a proud dragonfly having its last rest before it is eaten by a kingfisher bird. And look out of those big round eyes and ask yourself ‘Do I feel welcome? Do I feel clean? What is the problem? People have become intransigent with themselves over their lack of imagination to welcome. Those with long memories will remember asperging and cleansing, the smiles and greetings, the laughing and put two and two together and get five. They are laughing at my lack of imagination! If only I could asperge like that I’d be a millionaire! Well the pagan tradition along with the church is still going strong and where better to learn about cleansing and welcoming than where it all began: At the baptism. My baptism in being lazy and grateful was blessed by God, family, community worldwide (at least I thought so) Well! What deceit! 😁 My other baptism into the world of mystery and even more mysterious answers came by book. No baptism of fire unless you count sever eyestrain amongst the punishments you must endure to become learned in a particular subject, no stallions of fire, no arguments of hell, just quiet, me and a book or several articles on the internet of particular interest. Asperging was the problem. No sooner than I had landed that dream job then the asperging began. I began to welcome myself into other departments and pleased by their smiles I began learning. The welcome the bliss! The tragedy of it all! (Sealed with a kiss) I was learning how to asperge. What good books? What good lies? What good asperging? There was nothing the gods could cleanse. This was earthly riches. And still the others said why am i so bad at this welcoming? Why must I endure the sadness? What is it about me that puts me down? The asperging the welcoming aside are all good people. So, get on with it! So lazy and grateful. So aside with the likes of lager and chips and fries! Asperging for Britain is what were meant to do. And damn the lies and statistics that put us here. But what about those lies and statistics? Surely, they are the reality? Not the cleansing and welcoming, the froth of society, the bubble and sqeak. No, I wanted to study the lies behind the veil, the menstruating Mary, Science. What? 😮 2+2=5 When is this true? When the second two is another dimension. Ppxvh. We are there. Polemic over. Noughts and crosses from now on. Simples!