The Big Time

Clear Head. Begin.

It was a drowsy morning thought Drew watching the crane on the horizon go back and forth back and forth.

He took a break for a buttered bun and a cup of coffee at 11:00. A break from lying in bed.

Now he was sitting at his computer looking at his Dandy Warhols background wallpaper a new WordPress Document open before him wondering what to type…

He shouldn’t be scared by this New Document Empty and white. After all, he has written hundreds of blog entries be they poems, rants, thoughts, drawings. So what makes this one so different?

Well, something quite profound actually. This science-phobe has gone on and applied for an Access To Science course at a local college. He has an interview and assessment in a months time and seeing how the future may unfold has already been out (well, on Amazon) an purchased a new laptop bag, duffel bag for carrying around all those textbooks and ring binders and oversized pencil cases so loved by studenty types of which he is to become one of …)

But apart from the science -phobia which is really all about maths and chemistry and biochemistry, he feels he knows nothing about all the really BIG issues in science today. After all he left education after part completing a mechanical engineering vehicle mechanics course aged 17 and has only very briefly stepped inside the hallowed halls of EDUCATION since then. He is now 43.

An atom without any electrons, neutrons or protons. A lone boulder deposited by the last ice age hundreds of miles from the nearest boulder gathering.  All the elements that have yet to be discovered are more well known that this one WatkinsAlonium. Atomic Number Zero. That’s the limits of his scientific metaphors. Far from infinity. No valences. No equations. BUT I HAVE NO CHOICE!!!

What? I hear you gasp. Did you have a vision in which you were a stunningly intelligent biochemistry student? Did you have a dream that you wrote paper after paper and got published in scholarly journals? Did you dream of long multi-course faculty dinners during which times you would entertain with prescient anecdotes the downfall of your mutual enemies? Did you watch ‘Lucky Jim’ and thought ‘That’s me’ (but in science not in History) Well in short ‘YES!’ that may be true. I did have a dream of being a young biochemistry student with a stunning girlfriend and Big pharma prospects. I did. But now I am faced with a blank page I feel more than that notion that this was pre-ordained destiny. It feels Human to be staring and not know what to write. It feels human to be at the beginning of an unknown journey in which I might encounter gypsies and go on my own journey of human discovery.

Success is defined in the OED as ‘the accomplishment of aim or purpose’ and surely this goes deeper than mere marks on a sheet of paper, essays and dissertations, theories and theorems.

Monkey bars are difficult to overcome. At first they seem impossible. Then improbable, then merely difficult then easy as pie. It’s not failure that should be afraid of. It’s not trying.

The thing we can all do is get behind the triers and give them a big push and help them on their way.

My cup of coffee has now gone cold and the bun, well that never existed. I am going for an interview in a months time though in which time i might learn basic addition and subtraction, nay THE SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE.

Perhaps I should read more…



Published by Andrew Mark Watkins

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