Before it, all made sense was a high
Then I got confused and out of the dark
I stood up and declared ‘I do not know’

But you can ignore the first three lines
if you do what they say is impossible.
and if you failed then ignore them anyway.

I looked at the car and then at the trees and the air
and saw what I believe to be true and lots more besides
so I reached into my pocket for a jellyfish and started the car
then I washed my hair and ran over a duck-billed platypus.

My day passed with only earthquakes and terrible ravines
that could hide one hundred million lunch boxes as well
as the odd supervisor or three (million) as well as whomever
I felt like dispatching into another dimension with my tongue.

The jellyfish which is now the egg clutch of unborn platypi turned in the ignition
and the car started with a dragon-like roar. Expelling villagers from my exhaust
I headed out on the long journey home.

Upon a precipice a thousand feet high I overtook a mini and parachuted
into my parking space (squashing an elephant). Ejected three hundred feet
by a recoilless spring I added the equations for light and axle grease and opened
my front door.

A snarling tiger with the bowl of nachos slipped past me in the space under the waterfall
so i bathed quickly watching for falling meteors and comets before orgasming
violently through an Alice door into my pool. A quick look at my claw revealed
I was still wearing my Cartier watch. So I slipped it off. A lizard with the head
of a cat meowed at me while trying to arch its back. Poo came out.

I dozed silently as cows made methane balloons on which colonies of ants would colonise
the cloud layer queuing with frogs hippo and iguana in ecological rain nobody would forget.

I woke up in a dream in which I had legs and feet which I could wiggle with uncertainty. Further
thought revealed a ravenous hunger so I microwaved a message to Alpha Centauri for Pizza. Ping. I got spag bol instead.
‘The boring dream,’ I thought as I zipped through the image box. I spent three hours configuring the equaliser on my sound box
before realising I wasn’t in the mood for music. Gee, I hope I wake up soon.

Giraffes are tall I will use them for t’s L’s and I. I dozed into a new wakefulness. My car, gone. My home, gone.
Traces of elephant, gone. My watch, gone. OK, this is a new day. Mission control sends me a reboot, please. NOW!

©2017 Andrew Watkins


Published by Andrew Mark Watkins

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