I believe sometimes I touch.
Say! Do you want to get some beers?
Let’s put on some tunes and get some girls and party!
I believe and that is possible. I believe and it’s not partying political.
I believe and let us pray on our knees to the God in Heaven.
You can get up now (I was only joking)
Sincerity, brevity, inside I’m laughing at you like a hyena who has found a fresh corpse.
I’m a scavenger of souls of shrunken heads and good luck charms.
What made me this way? Sincerity, brevity. Charm?
I am three gods in one. Jackal, Goat and Chicken. Cluck Cluck! Cluck!
And you are my sheep, brethren, unbelievers and fellow chickens, Cluck Cluck!
Sincerity, Brevity, Charm!
Guilty chicken, go clean out the coop and say three Hail Mary’s
Innocent Guilty Child go inside! And watch TV.
Or read a book with your family.
Beelzebub! Satan! Where art thou? In my soul eating what innocence is left?
Innocence is my coat my jacket and I wear you like a cub loves its mother.
Innocence, brevity, Charm! You could light up the path all the way to departure!
Look around you is what they say. Bad boy. Bad girl or Sow. bad. Bad. Bad. Bad.
Little johnnies being playing with himself again!!! I’m wearing a grin, What about you?
Little plays, little ways I am huge!
It’s morality you see. It’s purgatory. It’s somewhere in between.I have a wand you know.
And I use it.
While you were being calm someone was out robbing the off license with a stolen credit card. My stolen credit card! I didn’t even get a bottle of vodka out of it. Just a phone call saying we know who did it.
Little fishes, babbling brook, crushing rocks, Charm!
Secrets and fancies, Tuesday afternoon dances, Animal farm!
It’s Wednesday and past your bedtime. Innocence Brevity,Charm!
Nothing changes except you. Sincerity, Brevity, Charm.
Little mountain stream brings tears to my eyes, What beauty in nature
God is truly great. Make no mistake. Great. Great. Great. Eagle that is Golden What do I beholden? A Flask of coffee and a yoghurt flapjack and some tuna sarnies that have wrapped themselves around the apple as if declaring undying love for its once clean shiny roundness. I break up this fantasy with disgust and a tut and pour myself a cup.
All that is green
Let the hEavens above be thankful and full of praise!
Epiphany over I return my gaze to my surroundings, glance my satnav and wonder at modern conveniences before I am interrupted by a tut.
Got some of that joe bro? Asks Jo.
‘Sure’ I say although I am far from it.
The walk continues and then I go home.
Except for some unwanted visitors, the night was unremarkable in the extreme.
Except for some bats, Owls in woollen hats and dancing demi-gods!
Except for washing up and cakes and being overweight nothing happened.
It was normal in the extreme. N-ormal. E-normous. Not enormous but just plain normal.
Since when did I go to heaven or should that be Die and go to heaven?
Since when do I as I please, when I please and with who I please?
Since when did the reality rug roll itself up and put itself over my shoulder with the command ‘Take me to the attic!?
Notwithstanding my boxer shorts nothing short of a miracle has happened. Nothing of the sort!
It’s just my mind playing fantasies again!
I’ll wake up and smell the coffee any minute now!
Black no sugar, creme if you want it.
No siree, not today!!
I couldn’t give a rats ass. If I may be plain.
It’s just me again. Poor little me.
I’ll read the newspaper and disappear!
The sugar speaks louder than me. The waitress is perfect and what has happened to my Sincerity, Brevity and Charm?
‘Yes please’ is all I can manage and the steam train of manners puffs away like a Vintage excursion on Bank Holiday and I. Where am I? I am forgotten. Lost. Stolen? Like a blanket from children. I mourn my loss but with each sip of coffee, I acquiesce a little more towards bankruptcy of self. Of sincerity, of brevity, of charm. Pray for I little I lost in Starbucks or Costa Coffee with no money and no laptop blarney.
Behind lies the lawnmover, and I have to move a mountain to get by. Dinner! is the cry of the one I call Mother. I cannot lie.
Grabbing my marbles bag and matchsticks I run inside and sit down ready. It’s dinner time! Smiles all around.
Behind me is Satan with his hand up my back making me do and say things I would rather not. Begone Satan. Hello, Angel! Or better still a bit of both!
I am still no closer to stardom of being a father but a little voice says I will. I do. Solemnly.
So back to Britain! New prime minister, new walls around the garden! I get that sinking feeling again!
It’s time for something new where I will be able to continue with this malarkey at my own pace with my own present company.
How will this be achieved? Through deceivery and deception? Or willing mistrust?
I vote for the latter, by a tight margin of luck.
And now I am here!
Bon Voyage and Good luck!
Well, It’s Wednesday Night and I’m typing away instead of being in bed with a coffee, a fan and a can of cider for company. Hurrah! I am busy typing way behind some deadline I set but willing and able and comfortable-ish behind with washing up again! Deadlines looming. A week away in my head I better had not write it down or I will have to follow it then! Anyway, i write with an urgency not found on the bookshelf or at the stationers store. Like my life depended on it. I must tell you a little story. last week I was at the Kitchen sink and I cut myself with a knife. What went through my mind? A plaster and it will be OK? No Infection and me losing my arm. But anyway. I am a man.
Urgency is what put that thought in my mind. A deadline of success before fifty. Success before forty didn’t work then? Well, success anyway AND AT ANY COST!
I answered the door only wearing my boxer shorts today! I am lean mean writing machine! Ha to you tweed wearing elbow patch sporting losers! Ha, I spit on your tan brogues and correspondence courses Pah! I spit on you!
Pah! Behind is the word in my mind. Behind a giant garden shed puffing on sensimillia? Behind the times? Behind on my ambitions? Behind my family in terms of achievements? Behind in emotional maturity? Behind in the relationship stakes, behind financially?
Behind God? Yeah, I am behind God. All the way to yesterday when I solved an insoluble problem by listening to God speak. And by going outside I tasted freedom from fear and mistrust for a few seconds and found my purpose again with my camera in my hand. Represent! Do not repent! Represent! In image form, In writing, In poem IN prose, In meter, in verse, however, you please if you can do it with ease then do it.
Before now I wouldn’t have said that. I might have thought I was hinting when I was just prevaricating my senses away from something I would rather not do. But that was yesterday and today is new. And I am still prevaricating.
Pray you don’t have to be a front line nurse on some war torn bombed out town in the middle of Syria or Turkey!
There are nicer ways to make a living. You could crochet for Pinochet or another dictator. And I am not talking about money here NO. But time that precious gift that is yours and mine and free to give always unless you have problem neighbours who take up all of your time. Behind us is the time of prevaricating. Now we can participate. Now we can communicate. Now we can create.
Behind us is the misery of depression, repressed feelings and emotions and saying No!
Behind us is the past and in front is the future which we can ignore at our peril!
Past is the old ways and forward we go!
Into the present like a warrior on a horse. Screaming ‘Give it to me!’Now is mine!’
The present is our friend and ally. The present is what is there for us to multiply and advance on the future weapons ready. The future is what we hold dearest.
Back to that little mountain stream babbling away . Its crystal clear cold waters spewed from between crevices in the bedrock. An aquifer of plenty for all. Behind us is the past. In front of us lies the future. Behind us easy achievements goals and ambitions. In front of us new horizons and denizens. Behold!