Not A Goth

It’s been a long time since I looked in the mirror and asked the question ‘ Am I A Goth?’ Moreover being goth does not enter my thoughts until I hear the phrase ‘Not a Goth’ Then the black clothes, chains (real and metaphorical) leather gear etc come rushing into the centre left of my mind and in a pile someone sticks a sign that reads ‘definitely goth’ and I think back to the time I died my hair black in an attempt to communicate something (to my soul?) that it was alright  to choose to be who you want to be and that other people could go fuck themselves if they had a problem. OK! It wasn’t Othello, Macbeth or even Sesame Street but I had my plan.Nights spent watching music videos with a musician friend did more to turn me onto goth influence on our culture than any guy or girl.

Have you seen the goths walking down the street in full gear? Goth gatherings in Germany photos of which  on the internet did turn me on to going to one event or another, preferably with a film crew and plot for some al fresco shoot. Hell Dogs. Cyber Goths rule! They may be younger but the costumes are just fab. Not that I am some sort of cultural guru but goth does seem to be both  cool and fresh yet also dated anachronistic and well just weird! Hello! I like goth for all these reasons, the weirder the better (makes for a better film WINK) human interest, variety and life story, the pursuit of pleasure, guilty secrets, the suspension of disbelief, stories of abuse, neglect, love and hate.

I think therefore I am could be a goth quote. Its peaceful, thoughtful and forceful. Was Shakespeare a goth? These and other secrets are yours to explore. There is a lot of literature surrounding goth subculture from YA fiction to old favourites Like Edgar Allen Poe, and the old school of witchcraft and wizardry Crowley et al going back to Malleus Maleficarum and other texts. Owning a bookstore would give you ample opportunity to own and read some of these books.But beware…of things that go bump in the night. You could be one of them. But seriously for a moment. I do not believe in a goth hierarchy with a super goth at the helm but one of self-expression, self-exploration and trying even if you fail the first time. Goth is social too. Corpse paint not exclusive!

Writing about goth is something I never thought I could do. It’s a bit scary too…Eek vampire bat attack! Stab with a fork, stab with  a fork! (not really)  But life should be fun and not all Annie Get Your Gun or Independence day or Mars Attacks! I remember the first time I painted my face mask on. I looked in the mirror and asked ‘Am I a goth?’ I showed my girlfriend who asked me what have I done and if I wanted a biscuit  and that was that. Am I goth? I think by some people’s definitions yes.

I could do with some facial piercings though…


Published by Andrew Mark Watkins

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