I don’t know…and as such I did wonder…

Where was the time I first said hello?

Was it the beginning of the end?

I stood on tiptoe and said I love you.

You were able to look right through me then

into the core, always right into the core.

Never in the history of the Internet was someone

so wrong and right about me. I could be or have been

many things. Is that so hard for you to see. You who are

many things too?

After realising that there are some things I will never be I did not pull out the stops and go tearing towards the nearest wall at high speed seeking an end. Sure I got angry but not at me and not for long. Gentle is not an unkind word but I never hear it referring to me. Yet I can take pleasure in many things that are freely given to me by Gods grace and wisdom for my own development. I will argue with the internet you think. I am a living being not a pre-packaged banquet that you can take out and put away and replace every few years when you get bored. So screw you and your doggy crew. Screw you and don’t belong somewhere new preferably on the continent where I can’t find you.

And in finding you I found a new me

one who was humble and afraid but alive in so many ways

it made me literally cry. I’m alive!. I’m alive! And all can see it except you.

You who raised me from young. You who afraid betrayed me so.

Then hello! along came a surprise that really made me wonder that on earth could be someone I adored even though I would learn that later it wasn’t really appreciated in that way if you know what I mean.

And as such I did wonder how I could ever wonder again.

Which leads me to what I hope to be the end of all things.

Not apocalyptically, not apologetically, not apocryphally something beyond me alone in my bedroom just like its always been. But now I know how to show you the real me. A large heron gobbled me up. and shat out a brony. That sort of thing I suppose and race cars galore.


Published by Andrew Mark Watkins

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