You’re there when I turn on the TV

Someone’s always talking about things I see

And David Attenborough is there again telling me how animals grow

It’s like ‘How it Works’ for grownups but I am getting old

There’s no more time and no refunds for my license fee

The BBC, the BBC, the BBC, Always coming , coming at me

There’s Rusty Lee but she was from the other side

Don’t turn to three Luke. Use the force Luke. Use the BBC

The One Show is welcoming like Middle School parties

when the girls sit opposite the boys and the popular ones get to dance


It’s not like I want to work for them or anything

But..Why did you apply for a Job as production apprentice then?

Why I was dreaming about my day and how I would like to spend it

Or I was seduced by the thought of all the girls swooning at my employer’s name.

And the radio is just the same to smart, too clever and never complaining

I think all those who work at the BBC have doughnuts in their brains and I want one too.

The BBC, The BBC, Always perfect, always funny NOT LIKE ME, NOT LIKE ME.Please take me…


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