You’d think I have it. I wonder myself. But then it clicks. Failure. Failure dents confidence. And it’s not something that’s always on is it. It’s like a light bulb. Or is it like the stars always in the background? Always up there with arrogance and less savoury survival characteristics?
I think that my confidence had been largely misplaced throughout my life. I have learnt to the detriment of some other part of me that sometimes it takes confidence to succeed but also that at other times saying what you are thinking is enough.
This philosophy has helped me a lot recently as I battled with mental illness and finding myself in a new part of town with no mates. Often it was the small things that brought me on to new things that I now couldn’t live without. That is not to say that it hasn’t been hard and difficult. It has. It has been lonely, cold, intense, fear inducing, alienating solitude.