Bluegrass on Rye


Why we should use bluegrass in our curries, when making bread and in general in cooking.

The elements of bluegrass are a smoky concoction of tambourine notes with a piccolo aftertaste not requiring either of the aforementioned instruments. Everyone knows how to make bolognese right? Well here is a new recipe I have for you. Put on some bluegrass. Loudly and let it permeate the very walls of your kitchen. Let it be absorbed by your wooden table top. Let it bounce off the cutlery and assorted hard surfaces and let it flow through the open window in rickety racket bumps and humps that keep the washing on the line flying round and round in double quick time. Crumble an oxo cube letting the sound crumble with the chunks into a pyrex measuring jug. Add Hot water and marvel at the mixture now giving off vapours of bluegrass and beef. Add some spices and dance a bit around the kitchen banging a wooden spoon off every available surface. Add this mixture to the minced beef sauteed in the pan. Add tomatoes, Add celery, add mixed spice, tumeric and parsley. Get hold of some fresh bluegrass and peel off the hard layers with a sharp knife. Chop off the heads and keep till later. Grate the peeled bluegrass stalks into a mortar and pestle. Add butter and a little nutmeg. Grind with the mortar and pestle until fine. Sprinkle the powder into the bolognese mix taking care to get none up your nose and simmer on a medium heat for 30 minutes.

Sit down and relax.  Fall asleep. Wake up throw burned pan into the bin. Order bluegrass takeaway for you and your partner. Enjoy!


Published by Andrew Mark Watkins

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