From There to Here To Nowhere

Nice title Andrew!

Suddenly the music in my mind has changed and it’s down to Carissa liking my last post ♥. I was wondering earlier if love was what making me so sick of spirit. The beginnings of true love perhaps or something like that but I settled on my backwards tracking to when I asked God for His forgiveness of my sins last week. Seconds after I asked I was left with a doubt in my head. It went something like this: If you exist, then give me a sign (to say you heard my prayer) I brushed it off and thought something like denial would save me. (Huh?)

Seven days time during which time lots has happened that happens to fall somewhere over the thin line between good and bad, right and wrong, nice and horrible where your mood could be the deciding factor not the facts or opinions, evidence or intentions and I find myself here secretly glad I feel lifted up again (I do) and have something to write about again with alacrity.

So to Nowhere! Well if there’s no heaven then when I die I go nowhere, Right?

But if there is a heaven then everything will be OK? I get to meet all my dead relatives and we all get to drink Margheritas, Whoo! Eternal life! or was that only for Jesus! (Get my ignorance!)

But what if it’s all bollocks?

Or a monumental fuck up?

(In the Sky)

It’s better than hell, bound to be, but Hell could be fun, torture but fun.

Like its that simple, like you get to choose.

Like I did.

I never knew god was real. In fact, all the evidence I gathered pointed towards a non-existent entity of nothingness that lived nowhere in particular because it was nothing and, therefore, didn’t live anyway. But I sucked by the question? How does God live? Can something like God be alive like me? or an animal or a plant or a spaceship clone war model? Reading theology lead me to different conclusions. But it would say that. Wouldn’t it?

But I questioned God like something real so even if i contradict myself and say there is no god because there is no proof of god , YET I BELIEVE. I could be saved. Or dammed!

I also asked God for some help, also about a week ago. It’s hardly a sin. You should try it sometime!

Preach over.

Thanks for listening. Andrew

 

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