12 Hours to Go -Story 2

I am a royal pussy cat and I must learn how to drive the number 24 bus to fulfil the ancient prophecy of ‘Every Dog Has Its Day’.

Mmm, that mouse was tasty. I liked the way its juicy insides tasted in my mouth and provided a culinary counterpoint to the fine crunch of its bones, the skull in particular. It’s a pity their little insides get everywhere. I shall need to wash for an hour or more this time. I will start with the immediate dribble area under my mouth.

lick, lick, lick

lick, lick lick

lick lick lick

lick lick lick

That looks like Bruno the Boxer from next door. Horrible unclean animal. Always licking its you know what. It’s all his fault. Ever since he got hold of that pamphlet through the doggy vine its been every dog has its day this, every dog has its day that and that rabble he hangs about with all believed him and tonight they think they’re off to Wembley for a concert with Dog Stewart playing live.

And that’s where I as Princess Pussycat of Lower Vine Road, Pudsey come in. It says in the prophecy that royalty will be the key player in getting the dogs to have their day. As there are no other Persians on this street then that means me. Have you guessed at the problem yet?

Or problems in getting 45 neighbourhood dogs to the party of their lives 15 miles away at Wembley Stadium at 8:00 pm if you are a cat. I mean I can hardly call up Enterprise and rent a couple of minibus and drivers can I? Wheres, my credit card? Driving licence? Accident Insurance? Meow.

Now for the area below the immediate dribble area.

lick, lick, lick, lick

lick

lick lick lick lick

lick lick lick lick

No its just a matter of timing. Right now I’ll have a nap. After I have finished cleaning.

Now for the right paw, top side.

lick lick lick

lick licks lick

lick lick lick

lick lick lick

More cleaning (x12)

nap nap time.

4 hours later.

Where is the sun in the sky? Uh Oh! cloud cover. Time to make myself beautiful. lick. 1 hour later. I walk into the kitchen where there is a large clock on the wall. I rub past the calfs of the Royal Feeder, Bed Cleaner and General Human Assistant, 1st Class They murmur appreciatively. Good, they suspect nothing. The sun is due to come out later this afternoon as per the prophecy. ‘The Sun will be hanging high and there will be a blistering heat upon all below’

Time for a bit of forward planning. I need to go to Nadine’s Room where she will be thinking about boys, texting about boys or playing with the royal ribbons. Hi!’ Nadine. As Nadine gathers me in her arms I turn on the royal purr and the royal snuggle into maximum. After a few moments, we adjourn to her bed where she is looking thoughtful. I am lying on my back looking royally pathetic. In the old meaning of the word. Nadine is looking at me and there are the beginning’s of tears in the corner of her eyes. Excellent.

She always plays music when she is feeling sad. Here we go. Onto the shelf ‘Movie Quotes & Foley Foley CD Vol1’ is her favorite and just what I need for later. She puts the CD on her Boombox, the one with the strap for carrying it outdoors. and returns to the bed. She acts out the scenes sometimes but today she has it bad and just lies there occasionally looking at me. Well, I am handsome AND royalty.

As I lie here the sun falls on my royal body from the window in the wall. Everything is going to plan. I just need a nap.

4 hours later.

OK, Time to move. Where is that bag of mucus and slobber they call a dog around here. I can smell him. Royal Phooey. I trace him to the garden as the humans have left the door open to let in some cooler air.

I jump up onto the Royal Barricades, what the humans call their ‘fence’ and survey the street. Excellent all the back doors are open as far as the eye can see. I need my orb And sceptre at times like this. I need to train the human more.

I am going to have to arouse the attention of the dumb creature lying there with its tongue hanging in the grass. I will have to get its squeaky ball to talk, well I don’t I could just jump on him like he wasn’t there, but I want him to be happy.

I track the trajectory of the clothes line falling onto the washing basket, making the ball roll down the sheds roof and onto the floor where it will squeak. All it will take is me to move past the washing line. I jump from the Royal Barricades onto the washing line pole and then onto the line itself which I have seen the stupid squirrel do lots of times. Almost there. If I just push out with my paw it will fall like so.

Excellent. I let myself drop landing on all fours on the grass below before the ball has landed and squeaked. I wait. roll, fall, squeak. The dumb dog has opened it eyes and has spotted me. It smiles at me and licks it lips. excellent.

Time for a royal briefing.

1 hour later.

That dumb dog better get this right.l will distract the humans watching tv and lounging in the living room while he goes upstairs and does what he has to. Here we go. hello hello everyone You may smile and even pet me this time. Out of the corner of my eye I see the dumb mutt climb the stairs. I roll over on my back inviting the humans to play with  me and to be amazed at the sleekness of my royal fur. So far so good. OK, I can see him now coming back down the stairs, his job done. OK, Humans. Time to go. Sorry folks I am tired. I head towards my nap corner but then follow the mutt outside.

I will get dirty going out into the street, but a queen has her rites of passage too. I and the mutt go into the street and what a sight it is. Dogs of all shapes and sizes are there, tongues hanging out in the sweltering heat. I give the signal and jump onto the back of the large schnauzer from three doors down and then we are off running towards the bus stop of the number 24.

Stopping the bus goes to plan. we just block the road with doggy bodies. The bus is empty except for a teenager listening to his music with his eyes closed. Well, this will be a story he will never forget.

The dumb mutts time is now. Round his neck is the boombox complete with Foley CD. We crowd into the doorway of the parked bus and I jump over the dumb mutt and press play with a royal paw, then Next track twice. With the second royal paw, I turned the volume up to maximum’

‘Maybe Its time we try something new.’ comes over the speakers. The driver looks on nonplussed.

‘Im Gonna Make Him an Offer He Can’t Refuse’ comes next and 45 dogs show their teeth at the human driver.

The drivers eyes widened.

I signal with a royal Purr. A little Pekingese runs up and onto the stupid mutts back carrying a flyer for ‘Dog Stewart live At Wembley Stadium’

The driver takes the flyer and rubs his head. He looks at me and the note and sys ‘Gawd Knows The wife will thinK I am crazy. But come on. On you all get.’

At my signal, the dogs fly through the door and onto the floor beneath the seats, onto the seats, on top of each other and generally filling up the bus looking excited.

The bus driver changes his destination to Private Hire. Nods at me and says ‘OK Were off to Wembley. 45 dogs show their appreciation.

Satisfied with my work I jump into the driver’s lap and let out a royal purr. So I will be queen afterall I think before I doze off for Royal Nap on the way to Wembley Stadium where ‘Every Dog Will Have Its Day’

 

 

 

 

 

 

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