Take Stock And ?

For me, it’s simple. Take stock and write, the rest will take care of itself.

Like now. I have no subject to write about except Maya Angelou (I think that’s her name) I have only read one or two poems by her on AllPoetry.com but I can see skill where it is and feel something great when I read her words.

Now sadly deceased, I am thinking now of Desmond Dekker another African  American. Maybe, maybe not.. But before I go on I want to think. but how can I think when writing has the upper hand. I must type but typing fills the front of my brain and leaves little space for thought. Anyway, thought is overrated. Think of the times you have been happy and you might very well say that the times you had to think outnumber the times you were happy without having to think. This may be true or maybe not. But reading this you are thinking. How does that make you feel? But before I lose you perhaps I should mention the Harlem Globetrotters. Always good for a smile. All that showmanship and entertainment. I saw them when I was eight. I didn’t take up basketball, but the thrill remains every time I hear their name.

I wasn’t an intellectual child.I was an intellectual child. I was a fractured child. I spent most of the time searching for some real meaning which was sadly lacking from my life. God Jesus and everything I rated alongside Enid Blyton, and The Guns of Navarone, The Beano, Dandy and Action Man were my childhood heroes.

Now the wood has split and warped I see God Jesus and Everything and it’s as real to me know as the Beano and Dandy was then. What does that mean? That I will go to heaven? I doubt it. I am still searching for meaning.

Writing gives you something to be authentic at doing. If you write what comes into your head, and don’t premeditate a plot, characters or content and it makes sense to you and someone else then at least you can say you are lucid. If it raises and eyebrow or a smile you might even venture that you have some talent too.

I have written every day for the past 2 years pretty much and have amassed a significant amount of words in that time. But what does that mean. That I care? That I have something to say, or that I have too much time on my hands? And what and who am I writing for. For gods glory, for me or for man? I tend to imitate. I prevaricate, I philosophise but never in a  proper way. Plato, Boole, Dickens, Plath et al have nothing to worry about I am sure. Fame is not knocking at my door. Only the postman.

Almost 500 words down now. I have read about writers managing 7000 words a day (Enid Blyton) or close to that figure, Me I have managed 3500 of readable copy Hip! Hip! Hurrah! Now I need a publisher. When I began writing I was all about getting a thousand words or so of writing and then taking that to publishers and saying this is what I can do. Any chance of a book deal?

I took my idea to a writer’s start up agency in town and heard nothing from them ever again. They have since closed down. I have been sadly insular about my writing ever since. I publish to my blog and the few regular readers I have on there but really I have given up on serious writing as an ambition. What went wrong?

Well, my plan was OK but the Internet took over. I became aroused by internet magazines of the literary variety and getting my name in one of them along with a few hundred words perhaps. Except that my style never seemed to fit. So I tried altering it but soon that petered out as it did not seem worth the effort. Perhaps I need to be better focused. But then I might stop enjoying it. The thrill of getting a like, The headrush of being in the prose as my fingers race across the keys!

Imagine that there is not a problem and there is not a problem only some prose. Imagine that there are a problem and the prose stops flowing. If It’s flowing its good. When I first started out I read about some famous author writing a word a day and then spending a whole day thinking about the next word. Easter Bunnies I am sure.

I should know I won an award. The Versatile Blogger Award. It’s not exactly a writing deal or commission but its a start. And I draw too. Badly some say, others say rubbish. I say it’s Okay. OKAY!

I also photograph which most people like. Perhaps I should do that NO! I have never really been that sort of person. I prefer to find my own way in the dark sometimes rather than tread the well-lit path.

Perhaps that sets me up for some journalism. I would, but I haven’t the skills or the energy. I have a friend who asked me If I would write a paper what would it be. Such flattery!

Literary criticism is something I would like to be fluent in although writing in a literary style eludes me. So long lucidity I am becoming a pedant I hear myself say. Goodbye and farewell, the Beano and Dandy  action man and Star Wars forever and a day. Why can’t I have both I wonder?

I find lots of mainstream literature heavy going and reading a long literature book too academic. I like Shakespeare. I like quirky, funny, aloof, twisted characters, I like the damned (if it’s not too depressing) the unwanted, the lame and the shrewd. I like whatever gets me in the mood. If I can’t get that through literature then it’s not worth reading.

Well, that a thousand words and I am due a rest. I make the rules here.Thanks for reading. Leave your appreciation, requests or commissions on the comments below. Fondest Regards



Published by Andrew Mark Watkins

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