Awake…Barely

Hi. I am feeling tired, enervated, shattered, done in. Its Friday and the end of the working week. If worked then I would likely feel happy about it. As it is I just feel tired, enervated, shattered, done in. I think I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I read someones account of it on their blog and it rang true with me and my own experience of sleep, sleep and more sleep. When I wake up in the morning I take my tablets and then my thoughts return to sleep, so I get back into bed and return to the land of nod for at least another 4-5-6 hours until there is a small feeling of energy. I have had a shitty week. I ordered two books and not one of them arrived. I applied for a distance learning university course and was told that i could do it if i took a year long Access Course before. I am deeply depressed about this. I would have done it without the year long access course as i could have studied at home I haven’t got the energy to go to college for three days a week. I have not really spoken to others about this except to my family who probably just think I’m off again on another dream that will end in failure. Well at least i have a reason for it.  I have told my medical professionals that i spend nearly all day in bed before and family but they probably think I am showing off or worst just don’t take any notice. I am fed up with being ignored or marginalised.

And if I do have CFS then what does that mean. It is incurable. That’s the headline. So I look forward to spending the rest of my days with about 10 percent of my previous energy levels. Not that i have energy to panic about it. Its just like lying down. Its like death has come for me aged 41. Just lie and close your eyes and let death take a hold. Its bad but I have spent the last two months in bed for 18 hours out of the 24 in a day. I do not wish to die like this alone. You might think that things aren’t really that bad, that if i tried some positive thinking then i could just Snap! myself out of it but the truth is i sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep and sleep.

Sleep, sleep, sleep. You can have CFS wear off. It can be brought on through trauma. I have had plenty of that in the past and i have been sleeping lots for years now. And I like to write. like to write. like to write. write, like? right!

I feel a song coming on…

He likes to write but he’s never right Mister Like Wright.

He sleeps all day long , then he writes a stupid song, Mister Like Wright

He dreamed of writing a novel but that dream just didn’t go far

He wrote thirteen hundred pages but the quality was n’t there by far

Oh mister Like Wright, Oh Mr Like Wright Oh Mr like Wright Writes

What will you think of next? Chronic Fatigue Syndrome stories Mr Sleepy Ha that’s it! I’ll have a hit

The adventures of mister sleepyhead in sleepy-town, sleepy-world, sleepy-universe Snore! Snore! Whats it all for?

Sleep is an interesting state to be in unless you do it all the time then its just repetitive. Snore Snore, I don’t want any more!

Sleep Sleep. Ill just go and weep weep like never before…..

MISTER Like Wright!

MISTER Like Wright!

Mister Like Wright!

Chorus Etc

Do you remember Buffy The Vampire Slayer musical episodes? I don’t I was asleep.

Do you recall where you were before the fall? I don’t I was asleep

Oh mister Like Wright, Oh Mr Like Wright Oh Mr like Wright Writes

Oh mister Like Wright, Oh Mr Like Wright Oh Mr like Wright Writes

Hey!

The end.

Well that’s the end if the song, for now. I might come back and write some more about CFS and me in the future. If you feel that you need medical advice then speak to your GP, not I. Thanks for reading, have a great day. And get a good nights sleep. Bye.

Published by Andrew Mark Watkins

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2 thoughts on “Awake…Barely

  1. I found out today that my iron count is low. I have been feeling very tired as well and so it was good to find out. Now I know how to remedy it. I hope you are able to resolve what concerns you..

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